Enhanced by the Light - Prep 12/10/12

It is December 10, 2012... already!  Where did this year go?  I know for me it has been consumed with the final semester, 3rd year of pharmacy school, and the first 5 rotations of the 4th year.  Now I have a break, a breather from the incessant cramming of drug information into my brain, and preparing for and giving presentations, and have a chance to reconnect more fully with my less thinking self that has been there all along, just subdued in the background whilst I plunge forward my existence in the third dimension and duality.

I do believe that all of the meditation and preparation in the previous decades with the healing, awareness, enlightening moments and life shifts have helped me immensely through the seemingly unbalanced nature of pharmacy school and all of the changes that have occurred over the past few years.  I am still me, the eternal optimist, full of Hope and Light, bringing my Presence into each place I go and each rotation I am on, making the connections I am to make, trusting that I am still doing this program with my bigger purpose on this planet in mind (even if it might be subconscious, especially regarding where pharmacy fits in, at the moment).

I still awaken every morning very grateful to be alive and to have the opportunity to live each moment in Love and Joy.  I am still here and my life feels very full of Grace.

Having said all of that, I am still perfectly human, and am excited to experiment with what I posted this morning on Facebook:

So interesting - yesterday I decided I am going to use the time between 12/12 and 12/21 to increase my daily intake of green smoothies (which enhances our cell ability to absorb light) and focus energy and mindfulness on Light with the Five Tibetans. The first post I saw this morning (linked below) confirms this thought into action. December has always been a time of deep reflection for me, with looking at the year previous, releasing all of it and making room for the joys and intentions in the new year. This year I feel called to contemplate more than just the year's events and growth, but perhaps even a deeper look into duality in this lifetime, and the ability to let it go. I'm sure more will become clear in the next couple of days as I prepare. There are some great ideas for purifying here: Deb Kern's Raising Your Vibration.

I had just ordered my VitaMixer, finally after weeks of deliberation, and had been entertaining the thought of doing a juice fast the first couple of weeks of January to cleanse and purify.  This was after being inspired by the movie "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead".

And, yes, I know I am not fat (anymore), nor am I sick or nearly dead; however the story was very inspiring.  There's always improvement to be made.  I've focussed very much on physically improving myself.  I've lost nearly 50 pounds since the summer of 2010 (at least measured).  I have about 10 pounds to go to the high end of the normal weight range, and around 30 to go to my goal weight since I want to maintain well within my normal weight range.  I have used several strategies to get here, the most useful one being tracking through Weight Watchers, being mindful of portions.  I also eliminated wheat and gluten about 1.5 years ago to help ease inflammation - with great results!  Recently I've also eliminated all dairy products, including nonfat dairy yogurt due to the inflammatory properties of dairy. Due to a recent discussion with a dietician who helps educate on diet according APOE genetic results, I've been attempting to find ways to make vegetables the focus of each meal, with supportive protein and carbs.  So, like I said, very physically focussed - and I do feel great, and love that my clothes are looser and the pain I was experiencing has been greatly reduced.

Now that I'm on break from pharmacy rotations and have some nurturing time, I am suddenly fully cognizant that this month and this year, and the much anticipated "end of the world" is upon us, days away!  It has been fascinating to observe and witness the spectrum of speculation in society about this auspicious time.  There are so many many theories.  I am amazed to learn that there are folks who still feel strongly that it's the end of the physical world with mass destruction and mass exodus of life from the planet.  Unfortunately this is causing many young and old people to take their own lives in desperation or hopelessness.  This seems pretty senseless, especially since not a whole lot has happened in a world-wide devastation sense, yet.  It is also senseless for people to react negatively if the opposite doesn't happen as they expect (like a rapture or ascension).

I am more of the thought process that if something "happens" it is going to be much more of a conscious awareness shift out of the "old", mainly duality, into the "new", which is Unity consciousness.  From my time-space perspective (and how could I not have one living in this reality?) it seems as though this kind of shift would take time.  And it has.  And it will. Things have been shifting for awhile, mainly in the individuals which make up societies.  Change takes place one heart at a time.

I recently witnessed a very short conversation regarding 12/21/12... it was in the middle of a flow of conversation ranging from the future of compounding pharmacy and regulation, to education, to politics, and other random societal things.  It went kind of like this: "The end of the world is coming on Dec. 21", "No, I'm sure it's the 22nd", "Well, whenever, it's the end of the world they say."  Then a silence. 

 Then the next topic.

My thoughts filled that brief silence, not my words.  What I wanted to say, but did not was, "So, say it IS the end of the world, whatever that means to you, does that change anything for you today, this moment?  Would you make a different decision, or say different things? Would you do something you might not otherwise?  The silence was interesting - it's almost as if it's so close there's not much one can say about it, but just wait and see what happens, if anything.

My answers to those questions are mainly "no, I would not do anything differently."  I have changed my life over the past couple of decades to truly have no regrets and to be living my life from my heart.  Sure, I might inform and remind people that I love them and to thank them for being parts of my life, and helping me learn and grow through them.  

My focus now is the light, especially at this time of year, as the light wanes by the minute.  The sunshine is brief and I am grateful to live in such a sunny place, even if the days are short.  For me, if anything is going to happen this month, I want to be as prepared as possible.  This does not mean physically.  I am not going to gather items to make sure I survive any physical calamity, rather I feel called to focus on increasing my connection to my Source, increasing my vibratory state higher and higher in order to resonate even more with greater dimensions, and view the darkness of the third dimension and duality through an ever narrowing telescope. 

How am I going to do this?
1) With the help of my new VitaMixer (arrives tomorrow) beginning 12/12 prepare three daily specific green smoothies, puddings, or soups to bathe my cells in the utmost nutrition and ability to absorb light from the Sun.  I cannot describe the buzz my cells are feeling as I read over the smoothie recipes.
2) Every day complete 21 repetitions of the Five Tibetans twice each day
3) Meditate on Light and Ascension inspiring guided meditations or music
4) I have already eliminated gluten and dairy, most sugar, so the only real vice left is caffeine in my daily cup of coffee, so yes, I will stop the cup of coffee every day.  Not much else will change in my diet, except that the smoothie, pudding or soup will replace the cup of coffee and one meal and one snack.
5) I have already eliminated most idleness, newspaper, television, chat... what remains is computer and a little mindless game time.  I'll have to meditate and see what reducing that might look like and set that goal.
6) Focus on only Love, Joy, and Hope and journal on it.  I know that each day is going to have a theme  that will be revealed in the day.

More things might occur to me in the next day in preparation, however I definitely want to keep it simple.  If you've read this far, will you join me in this endeavor?  If you're interested, let me know!

Love, Joy and Abundant Blessings,
Stephanie

Tools for Living?

Three dreams I had last night stand out clear enough to remember and comment on.

In one dream I was getting ready to play tennis again after a long time away from the game.  Some adjustments needed to be made before I could play.  Specifically, the net needed to be lowered so it would be easier for me to get the ball over it.  A lot of time was spent on retying each side of the net in three specific places to the poles that were holding the net up.  It was important to tie them in the right places just for me.  At one point I even had to use a sweater I was wearing to fully tie the net in the right place.  I was fully present with the process of putting the net in the right place for me to play tennis again.  Finally I was ready to play.  In the dream I don't recall actually playing tennis, but a little later in a dream reflection while I was still asleep I realized that there really isn't any need to lower a tennis net to be able to hit a ball over it.  The net is low enough, and hitting a ball over it is actually very easy.  In that dream state I was asking myself, "for what purpose was all of that preparation and work?"  I will get back to this after I relay the other dreams.

In the next dream I was walking along a paved trail with several of my family members.  The trail ran along the edge of a cemetery in which there were dozens of burials happening or waiting to happen.  Most of the dead people waiting to be buried were not in coffins, it was a gruesome scene of dead bodies and grieving and lost souls.  Our group was aware of the burials, of the death all around us, but we were not part of it, and knew that we did not need to engross ourselves in it, and we continued to walk along the path.

The third dream involved an older couple that was unfamiliar to me.  They had acquired a brand new "old timey" car.  It was large and black with smooth curves.  The couple had invited me to go somewhere with them, and we spent quite a bit of time getting into the car, making sure the doors would shut and not close anyone in them.  Also, in the front hood, there were spaces to put the food that the couple was taking to their event, so it would stay warm near the engine.  We got the food situated and the woman all tucked into her seat, and finally closed the door.  This happened several times. Meanwhile the man waited semi-patiently in the driver's seat.  He was relatively anxious to get going.  He almost took off without making sure I was in the car safely in the back seat, after I'd spent a good amount of energy to ensure they were both comfortable and enclosed properly.

If there's a common theme with these three dreams, it seems it would be about preparation, or preparing for things/events that don't need so much time and energy for preparation.  Why all of the unnecessary adjusting for the tennis net to play again?  Why all of the preparation to get in this new old car and go somewhere I'm not sure of with these people I don't know?  Why is the cemetery so full of people preparing to bury their loved ones?  Why am I so involved in the tennis net and car preparation and not at all in the burial preparation?


My thoughts on this are spiritual in nature.  If we are of Spirit and that is our true nature, but we have forgotten on this earthly plane, what do we really need to do to remember we are of Spirit, and live a Spirit-filled life?  If there is an awareness of this importance, our current collective consciousness seems to need tools to get us to that understanding and remembering.  Tools are great as long as we feel we need them.  By tools, I mean anything that helps us remember or reclaim or re-experience our Oneness with Source.  This could be through meditation, acupuncture, toning, bodywork, a walk in nature, going to church, reading inspiring works, and many others.  They all have inherent personal value as stepping stones to knowing our connection.

Ultimately we don't need any of the tools, we just need to know we are connected, we are perfect, all of our needs are met, and we are fully loved.  It seems that many people spend a lot of time, energy, and money in tools to help them re-connect.  I am certainly no stranger to using tools, for I have many at my disposal, and I use them as an acupuncturist for these purposes to help others.  I often tell patients when I first see them (if I sense they are receptive), that acupuncture is merely a tool for helping people tap into their own energy, and healing themselves.  It's an energy training of sorts, and ultimately people can, and hopefully will, learn to heal themselves, it is not only a gift through the acupuncturist or meditation leader, or whomever is holding the tools at the moment.

At some point, tools can become crutches, or maybe even obstacles to reaching our goals.  If all of my time and energy was spent on getting the net just right to make it easier to lob the ball, what happened to simply playing the game?  The same with the car trip to the unknown with all of the energy spent making sure we're safe and secure, we never actually went anywhere.  This reminds of when I first learned some of the tools of Science of Mind/Religious Science, mainly the use of affirmations to realign my thinking and thoughts about myself and Life and things that didn't appear to be working well.  I spent well over a year affirming over and over in my journal the affirmations I wanted to be true in my life, specifically about being in a happy and healthy, loving and mutually respectful relationship.  Three whole pages every day were devoted to realigning my thoughts with affirmations.

One day I realized that I was stuck in the affirmations, the tool, and that by affirming what I wanted to be I was also affirming what I didn't yet have. I was holding it all in place with the affirmations.  I decided I was done writing about it, I was ready to live it.  With conviction, I let go of the tool and the affirmations, and my life began its whirlwind journey to where I am now, living the life those early affirmations and new thoughts set forth.  In the process I learned new tools, mainly meditation, acupuncture, colorpuncture, breathing, multi-incarnational sessions, and workshops that helped with each step when I felt I needed them.


If playing tennis is a metaphor for remembering my connection to my Source, and lowering the net is an unnecessary tool to make it easier to lob the ball over or to remember that connection, all I really need to do is start playing tennis and know my connection without a doubt in every moment.  No net preparation necessary.  This, to me, means living each moment knowing I'm connected to our Source, being as present as possible and sending and receiving Divine Love all the time, and not be attached to the tools that have helped me get to this point from the past.  Their only value is what I place on them currently and what I have placed on them in the past.  If I forget my connection and lose faith or trust, I imagine the tools are still there and could be useful for remembering to the extent that I feel I need them. 


I know in this third and fourth dimensional world so much is based on the physical, the scientific, the tangible, and that physical death seems like an incredible loss.  On the personality level, it is devastating the pain and grief and worry we go through when loved ones become ill or transition suddenly from this dimension to their soul's next level, as they/we lay our bodies aside so that our souls are free.  In our society especially, there seems to be a lot of fear and sadness around death of the physical body.  On a soul level, however, this transition is a remembering, a celebration, a re-birthing into the beauty and connection with Source, and while the personality healing experiences are necessary for emotional healing and karmic re-balancing, they are not necessary for our soul's remembering.    It seems a strange polar world we live in, and we always have the choice where we place our focus and intention.

Constantly Life is showing us that we have a choice of how to perceive the events that occur around us, and we can choose to propagate the  karma or lift out of it and love from a different place in our hearts. From choosing a new perspective, profound events have taken place in my life which, I feel, have propelled me further along the path of choosing from a conscious soul perspective rather than a personality perspective.  I am definitely not saying that my unconscious mind doesn't still drive me to whatever extent, it will as long as I have this human form with an ego, but my conscious intention lay in the focus of conscious soul decisions that may override the karma that my ego has created in the past.

I've had a few "tool-free" spontaneous enlightening experiences, but have yet to experience Life fully lived (at least this lifetime) in constant, complete and utter knowing of my connection to my Source.  My life has come to a very consistent happy place, and yet I know there is an even deeper experience than celebrating the work and manifestations of my intention. I intend to look at what tools I've been using lately that may be keeping me "safe" and "stuck" in my current intentions and experiments, and discern what I'm ready to release and experience more deeply into knowing my connection with All That Is and what that means for my Life currently lived.