Saturday, December 18, 2010

Time is an Illusion 1/08/09

It seems I have so much going on, all good and transitional, and yet, I feel as though I have all of this time on my hands. I have set many things in motion... selling my house, applying to pharmacy school, raising children, continuing to practice acupuncture, editing books, writing books, signing up for pre-requisite classes. Maybe it's the balance of yin and yang. Yang being the activity, take action, and Yin being the calm stillness, nurturing and replenishing. In my practice I am aware that there are many who are not comfortable with doing nothing, relaxing, taking care of themselves. They feel they must always be doing something. I do know that for now I need to be enjoying this "downtime" as much as possible, because once pharmacy school begins, everything will shift. Well, perhaps, maybe I'm in training...

It took so much action to get my house in condition to put on the market. I think it has sat there on the market, mostly due to the fact that I have needed a breather before the next big push, the move into the newer smaller place. I am excited about it, but it's a lot of work for one person. I am feeling it will sell soon, and I can soon have this move behind me instead of before me. Let's get this baby sold!! The price has come down and I'm ready to take action!

And, pharmacy school, all the seeds have been planted, the applications, the interviews coming up, so at this point I'm waiting to see what happens, and make the best decision I can for where to go.
As for raising children... well, that has been going on for almost 21 years. Unbelievable, but true. A journey I am glad to be on.

As for my upcoming Microeconomics course...I am trying to become excited about this. Could there be a seemingly more boring class to require for pharmacy school? Who knows, maybe it will be more exciting than I give credit. Maybe it's not about the course, maybe it's about the experience. I need to fuel a little of my optimistic nature over to this, I see.

So, meanwhile, I explore the Gnostic Templars, the 7 Rays Healing School, reading on Asperger's syndrome, the gnostic gospels, learning about the self-publishing business, and enjoy my friends and family and patients, while I remember the stillness of ample time on my hands. Maybe it's only that time is an illusion, and I am bending it to an extreme. I have really lost track of time lately, although I seem to manage to be where I need to be when I need to be there.

This life is full of paradox, and this is the one that is most up for me in this moment. I have a friend, who every time she sees me says, 'You always have something new in the works. My life is always the same, no changes.' I wonder how much extra time she feels she has. Not much, I think. Just imagine how much time I'd appear to have if there was no transition happening. I cannot! Life is short, and I'm here for the experience. As my wise teacher in a recent sweat lodge told us, "There is no Truth, only Choice".

It IS about the experience. Whether it be taking the mundane class, raising the three wonderful children, applying to pharmacy because I can, having a vision of being a bridge between Western and Eastern medicine, traveling to amazing places, visiting with dear friends and loved ones. It's the experience. And, because I know I can, I do... and I be. It's my choice.

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